Movie Review Time! - The Kingdom

Last night the Man and I watched ‘The Kingdom’. I’d been excited to see it for ages, despite the bad reviews. It’s not often you see Saudi Arabia on the big screen so it’s a big deal for those of us who used to live there. I loved it right from the first moment, when they showed grainy news footage of Saudi streets and shopping malls, and women in top-to-toe black. Saudi Arabia at the movies!!! Yay!

The story ran thus: Oil company workers and their families are having a softball game on their compound in Saudi Arabia. It was meant to be in Riyadh but looked awfully similar to where I grew up in the Eastern Province. Terrorists posing as security guards then drove into the compound and blew themselves up in the middle of the softball game. I found it pretty uncomfortable viewing. The rest of the film was about some American FBI investigators who went to Riyadh to try and find the man behind the attack and bring him to justice, in cooperation (supposedly) with the Saudi authorities.

Now, as a former expat in the Kingdom I can tell you, one of the top favourite western expat (and non-western expat too, I shouldn’t wonder) activities is laughing at the Saudis. Closely followed by, laughing at Americans (unless of course you are American). I left some time ago, but I still enjoy it! And this film certainly delivers - there were plenty of laughs to be had at the expense of the boorish, arrogant Americans and the bungling, idiot Saudis. It seems the Saudis had the idea that they were going to get the Americans to ‘help’ them because this would look good on paper, and but they had no intention of letting them do anything, not even handle evidence at the scene. Typical – a Saudi with power somewhere in an organisation makes a decision, then it sort of goes ahead, but warring factions above do their best to make sure it fails in a ridiculous and expensive manner. That’s the Saudi Arabia I know and love!

For their part, the FBI agents were extremely pissed off, and instead of taking a moment to work out the best way to tiptoe round the stew of egos and cultural sensitivities they had just stepped into, they threw tantrums and swore a lot. The Saudi colonel (who turned out to be one of the main characters) got upset a couple of times and ended up shouting over and over again, “Why you use these bad words?” What was standard macho posturing for the Americans was genuinely upsetting to the conservative Saudis. You’d have thought somebody could have briefed the idiots, but no, that’s Americans for you.

So, we have the Americans and Saudis at loggerheads with each other, until finally the Americans (though not the woman!) are invited to dinner with the fantastically indolent local prince, a character who was SO REALISTIC it was like watching a documentary for a moment. He decides to take their side, and lets the good guy Saudi Colonel take over the investigation, which ensures the Americans can now do what they need to.

Talking of realistic, the residents of the compound who’d survived the attack weren’t. They were portrayed almost as poor white trash, which is a little unlikely, and their houses looked tiny badly air conditioned. Believe me, the Americans in Saudi Arabia luxuriate in big houses, lushly carpeted, humming with air conditioning, and dripping with expensive furnishings, Middle Eastern art and the latest in top of the range entertainment systems. And as for the man whose wife was killed in the attack, he wouldn’t have been left alone in his company accommodation, free to shout abuse at passing Muslims. He would have been on the first flight out of the kingdom at Aramco’s (the oil company’s) expense, and given extended leave. The Saudis may be morons at times (many times) but if they really want something done, boy does it happen. The last thing the authorities would want in the country is an American mad with grief and fury. The place has got enough live wires on the loose as it is.

While I’m attacking the film on points of realism, I should also add, Saudi Arabia is nowhere near that dangerous as that on a day to day basis! I say this because people generally visualise me going shopping in a bullet proof jacket and dodging land mines. Now I won’t say I always felt safe there 100% of the time, but nothing in the movie ever happened to me. (With the exception of the car chase scene, for that is normal driving in Saudi Arabia.) Having said that, there was a terrorist attack on a compound near us, three or four years ago, and the Man reckons this movie was based on that event.

It was a compound I’d visited a few times with my boyfriend at the time, as they had impressive facilities that were the talk of the expat community. As I understand it, some terrorists dressed up as officials got onto the compound and went from house to house asking people whether or not they were Muslims, on the pretext of gathering data for their own protection. Later that day they returned, and went from house to house shooting people who’d registered as non-Muslim. The Man has friends who lived on the compound next door, and when they heard the shots and explosions they locked themselves in their laundry room. I can only imagine how terrified they must have been, not knowing what was going on. (Though it might have been worse if they had known).

The terrorists then left the compound, shot a westerner on the street, tied his body to the back of their vehicle and drove around the city streets with it dragging around behind them. I saw the man’s picture in the paper later and realised I vaguely recognised him. It turns out, I went to his house once for a party after a concert I’d played in. I hardly remember him, but it was a lovely villa.

Bad memories. Luckily for me, they are not my memories.

When the Americans were in the plane on the way over to Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of the film, one says to the other, “So what’s it like on the ground there?” The other thinks for a moment and replies, “It’s like Mars.” I think that description is pretty close to the mark, and the movie did a very good job of showing how bizarre the country actually is. But it also did a good job of showing the better side of the country, embodied in the form of the quietly talented Saudi Colonel who was able to take over the investigation and help the Americans. There are many passionate and intelligent people in Saudi Arabia, who are constantly in danger of being crushed by the system. I find myself incredibly impressed by their achievements, particularly some of the women, who are success in spite of all the odds, instead of being encouraged as we are in the West. The Colonel’s character was again a very believable one, albeit one in an extreme situation. He was a great guy, which of course means CAUTION, SPOILER AHEAD…that he was doomed for death right from the beginning.

Good old Saudi Arabia. I can never decide whether I love it fiercely, or despise it fiercely. Either way, it’s something fierce! I felt a bit emotional the film ended, having seen the familiar streets and faces once again. (I’m sure it wasn’t actually filmed in Saudi Arabia but in a nearby Gulf state, but it was still convincing). After it was over I told the Man we needed to go on holiday to Bahrain a.s.a.p!