Don't Buy Your Underwear From Marks & Spencer's Mail Order

Here's what I wrote in an e-mail to M & S this morning. A warning to all buyers of underwear!

Dear Customer Services,

After receiving my latest order of bras, I can honestly say that I will never be using your mail order again.

Living in Australia, it's impossible to find basic t-shirt bras that aren't huge, and/or padded, granny, or slutty. So I thought I'd order from M & S as an ideal solution. I'd have them sent to friends and family in the UK, and then they could send them on to me here in Sydney.

So I did, and this is the second time I've received bras that look nothing like the picture and don't seem to fit the description. I've now got to return them. Again. And not only is it expensive to keep paying for bras to be sent and returned across the continents, but it's bad for the environment.

I don't think that I could have anticipated this problem. After the first bad order, I was very careful to read all the details on the product web pages and scrutinize the pictures. I decided on the two bras T33 0415B 06801595 and T33 0415B 07191176 because they looked small and discreet, basic, and non-padded. If you look at the pictures on your site, I think you'll agree with me that they don't look like bras that an elephant would wear if it had breasts. Can you picture my disappointment when I opened the parcel that my parents forwarded to me, to discover the gigantic pieces of scaffolding you had sent me? Padded, when your website clearly said non-padded?

So I now have two choices. I can either go on a six-month eating binge so that my breasts actually do start from my collar bone and I'll be glad of these monstrosities (though I could have bought something like that in Australia without incurring the postage charges and the psychic trauma that any transaction with the Post Office incurs) or I can return them to you. And yes, you'll refund the money, but will you refund all the money my family has spent shuttling these things around the world? I don't think so.

So, I'm out of pocket, thanks to the false advertising of your company. Next time I come to England to see my family and buy all those essential items that, inexplicably, you can't get here, I'll be buying my bras, in person, at BHS.

Regards,

Sprite


Bastards!