Life in the Desert Kingdom

Lately I’ve been enjoying Daisy’s blog, Saudi Stepford Wife. Daisy is an American living in Saudi Arabia with her Saudi husband. I can’t remember now how I found her blog – probably in one of my stalker moods, looking for long-lost expat friends. As a former resident myself, I get a thrill reading about the daily goings-on of folks in the good ole KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia).

Lately Daisy’s had this weirdo souring up her comments section. I suppose it’s inevitable when you blog from Saudi Arabia about Saudi Arabia, but it bothered me all Friday. I could understand it if she was bitching about the country (a favourite pastime of expats in the Kingdom) but this lady writes with such respect and affection for the country and its people. She describes herself as a feminist and certainly she comments on the not-so-good side of life there, and supports reform, but I honestly can’t see why any sane person would be driven to fevered ragings and throwing fatwas all over the place, not even hardcore religious conservatives. I guess the key word there is ‘sane’. Now if it was me, I’d be whingeing about the boredom, the lack of career opportunities, the way anything you ever want to do is always so bloody difficult over there, the insane laws, etc. But Daisy’s blog is upbeat, happy and dignified. I suspect she is a wiser woman than I will ever be.

By the way, if anyone’s interested in life as an expat in Saudi Arabia, I heartily recommend reading My Desert Kingdom by Jill Koolmees. (Though it seems to be out of print now so you’ll have to do a ridiculous amount of searching in secondhand bookshops and ebay to find it). I would be relieved if everyone would read this book before they are tempted to ask me, “Did you ever see anyone get their head chopped off? Did you have to live in a tent? Did you ride around on camels?” (Answers: no, no and no). Forget extreme accounts of royal harems, beheadings, floggings etc written by undercover journos – valid as these experiences may be for some people – this is a realistic account of the reality of life for the many ordinary westerners who go over there to work. That is not to say that her experiences were dull – far from it – but they were quite normal to someone who’s lived over there. I spent the entire book utterly absorbed, crying “I remember that!” and “The Khobar Barbershop singers! I’ve seen them in concert!” with indescribable joy.

I read it a few weeks ago now, but a few things especially stick in my mind. The author had just spent a difficult few months adjusting to her new life in to Saudi Arabia, yet when she returned to Melbourne for a short holiday, she felt restless and out-of-place, like she didn’t fit there any more. She found herself looking forward to returning to the Kingdom; her body was there in Melbourne but her mind wasn’t. I know that feeling, but I’ve never seen it described so eloquently before. However lonely and isolated I felt in Saudi Arabia (and I was so lonely at times I’d be embarrassed to tell you how much), when I went to England for holidays I couldn’t help wishing it was time to go back! (After I’d done all my shopping, I should clarify.) I felt like I didn’t belong there any more. The pace of life was all wrong. The accents sounded funny. I didn’t understand references to the latest in popular culture – and I didn’t care. I just wanted to get back to the quiet country where everything runs upside down, inside out. Guess that explains some things about me.

I also enjoyed the bit where she took a short trip to Dubai to visit friends from home. She recounts a conversation with them where she and her husband tried to tell them about some of Saudi Arabia’s weirder aspects. But to everything they said, the friends refused to believe them. “And the corruption is incredible! At every level!” Jill said.* The friends just countered that we in the West have corruption back home too. I can’t remember where the friends were from but I’m betting they were English. The English middle classes refuse to admit that England isn’t the lowliest country in the world – they think it makes them sound sophisticated. Anyway, my point is, the author encapsulated really well how difficult it is to try and explain Saudi Arabia to people who haven’t been there. You feel helpless to get your ideas and impressions across adequately.

One of Jill’s Australian friends (female) wrote to tell her she was stopping over in Riyadh on a short business trip. She suggested that Jill come over and stay for a couple of days and they could ‘paint the town red’. Hahahahahahahahaha! How I laughed. That is funny on so many levels.

So, clearly I loved the book. Have I lost you? I guess I’d better sign off now and enjoy my reminiscences alone!


*I'm just paraphrasing.