In My Dreams

Last night I had an erotic dream about my boss (though we weren’t actually having sex, thank God). Doubly disturbing, this is the second time I’ve had an indecent dream about him. I'm feeling kind of grossed out.

Now I should clarify, my subconscious has good taste. My boss is actually quite a handsome man. I don’t use the word ‘handsome’ very often, but in his case it’s justified. And he always smells nice. I also like and respect him quite a lot, even though he’s a businessman and I can’t conceive why anyone would want to spend most of their life discussing figures and business deals and talking in stupid business jargon.

Anyway, just because he’s successful, wealthy and attractive with a good personality does not mean I want to dream erotically about him (I’m serious). We have a cordial but businesslike relationship – he’s my boss, for God’s sake – and I don’t want to even think about crossing that line, not even in the privacy of my mind. He’s too old for me! He’s married with children! He’s my boss! IT’S JUST WRONG! Yuck yuck yuck! Surely I should have a choice about who I fantasize about? I feel like my subconscious mind has just violated me!

I wish I knew what my mind is trying to tell me. Surely I don’t have a secret repressed crush on him. I don’t feel like I do. I mean, I’ve just happily admitted that he is an attractive man. So I’m not repressing anything. And I genuinely don’t want to imagine having sex with him, otherwise I’d have enjoyed the dream! What is going on?

Shudder.

Note: I was just checking the spelling and grammar of this post before publishing when he came up behind my desk to ask me something. Oops. Then I had to try really hard not to laugh.