Smelly Sydney

Feb 28^th

I felt pretty ill today, especially when I first woke up. I may be coming down with flu. But I still went to work, because I’m a hero and the company, no, in fact the sector, would collapse without me. And I felt like bestowing future sick days on my co-workers...that's the kind of gal I am.

If it is flu, I hope my blocked nose develops soon. The good thing about having an ailment that stuffs up your nose is that I can travel on Sydney public transport without gagging. This morning, everybody on the bus seemed to have eaten lots of garlic last night. Stale, morning-after garlic – disgusting. Sydney certainly is full of smelly people. They especially like to travel by train. The air is a fermenting cocktail of fart smells, putrid halitosis, unwashed hair, sweated-out-last-night’s mutton vindaloo, and a little bit of good, honest BO. Actually the BO is a refreshing change. You don’t get that too often. The worst is the halitosis. A large proportion of train passengers – sorry, we call them ‘customers’ now – have the worst, gut-rotting, zombie breath you can imagine. Seriously, the cat smells better than the people I commute with. I'd prefer to travel with a bus full of giant, human-size cats.

Picture it. It’s the morning. I’ve showered, washed and blow-dried my hair, flossed,brushed my teeth and applied some lovely scented body cream from Lush and a bit of perfume. Then I get on the bus. The air is thick with a stench you can practically see, and it’s trying to infiltrate me. Yeeeeuuch! Sometimes I worry that the foul fug will somehow stick to me; maybe it'll get caught in my hair and follow me into the office.

Why are the people here so stinky? Are they in fact stinkier than other people? Certainly, I must have inhaled more farts in the time I've been in Sydney than in the whole rest of my life. But then again, I've never lived in a big city before. Maybe all cities are like this, because of the concentration of people. Or maybe I'm just unnaturally clean. Or maybe I smell bad too and I just don't know it.

I'm going to have a bath. I need to wind down anyway. I'm supposed to be tired because I'm 'coming down with something' and I have to take care of myself.