Just Do It - Vote Howard Out!!!

Just got out of a meeting about Customer Service. An hour of blabbing on about how it’s important to improve customer experience and do things better. Like, duh. It was all ‘journey’ this and ‘in flight’ that and ‘dropping the ball’. What a bunch of wankers I work with. Speak fucking English! How about we have a new slogan: ‘Just Do It’. (Or ‘For Fuck’s Sake, Just Do It). God forbid we actually DO something.

So, election time is nearly here. I don’t mind telling you I am super excited about our party! I’ve spent a lot of valuable working time making up fun posters to decorate the house with. My favourite is an image I lifted from www.crikey.com.au, of John Howard and Kevin Rudd smiling and holding up a placard together. I’ve doctored it so it reads ‘Welcome to Sprite and The Man’s Election Party!’. My Liberal neighbour has vowed to turn the hose on us and says it will be funny when Labor loses. I told him he’d better hope not, because when our party turns into an angry mob his house will be the first place we visit!

I really, really, really hope that the Liberals lose this election. My favourite scenario is that they lose by three seats – John Howard’s, Costello’s and sneery old Abbott’s. What a pleasure it would be to see their arrogant, rude selves humbled. I also want to see the Liberal supporters proved wrong, as they’re all convinced the country will ‘fall apart’ if Labor gets in. Well excuse me, that’s what a lot of people said at the 1997 election in England when the Conservatives were on the verge of a huge defeat, and no, the new Labour government didn’t stuff up the country. (Though they did their best – but that’s politicians for you). This guy at work says I don’t know anything about Australian history, so I don’t know how Labor can be, blah blah. It’s true I know very little about Australian history, but I do know some world history and that works just as well if you make analogies.

Bloody election. Two separate sets of people aren't coming to our party because of weddings, and they're annoyed that nobody's going to be paying attention to their wedding because the results will be coming in. And I can't have a celebration of ME on Saturday to mark my birthday. Even my birthday card from The Man had a reference to John Howard's knees in it, and he'd written 'The Year of Kevin '07' on the corner of the envelope. I mean, come on! What's that got to do with ME?

Anyway, I hope our election party will be fun and that lots of people will come! Have a good weekend everybody, and don’t forget to Vote Howard Out!