Wednesday 28 May 2008

Oh Dear.

Here’s my dilemma.

There’s a guy at work. He is giving off definite vibes of liking me. You know, like that. He is very nice and personable and kind of hot. And at some point – soon – I really should drop into the conversation something about the Man. Like, really soon. And yet whenever we pass each other in the office and he stops and starts talking to me, asking me how I am, etc, I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s awful! I’m worried that soon he might ask me out and I’ll have to formally tell him, and he’ll be thinking I led him on. Which I have done.

Did I mention how long it’s been since the Man and I were…you know…physically intimate? It almost feels like cheating wouldn’t even be cheating!

I kind of want to leave my job now so I don’t have to deal with this. Either that or leave the Man, so I can pursue a romantic relationship again, butI can’t even begin to think about the pain that would cause both of us.

What do you do when someone you totally fancy starts hitting on you, and you're not free? Why do these things not happen when I'm single?!!

Wednesday 21 May 2008

A Nauseating Dream

Last night I dreamt I was helping a woman - my neighbour, I think - to give birth in the home section of David Jones. She was leaning over and doing that panting thing that women apparently do when they're giving birth, and I had to catch the baby. It popped out all in one go, with a slimy splash, and I did catch it. The other person who was with me told me watch out for the afterbirth. I thought I was going to be sick, and frantically tried to repress the urge. I mean, it's ok to faint in the delivery room, but not vomit, right?! I thought, my neigbour will never forgive me if I spew at the miracle of her child's birth!

Good job I'm not a midwife, right?

I'm wondering what the dream means to me. It was memorable but I don't feel it has any immediate relevance to me.

Tuesday 20 May 2008

Movie Review Time! - The Kingdom

Last night the Man and I watched ‘The Kingdom’. I’d been excited to see it for ages, despite the bad reviews. It’s not often you see Saudi Arabia on the big screen so it’s a big deal for those of us who used to live there. I loved it right from the first moment, when they showed grainy news footage of Saudi streets and shopping malls, and women in top-to-toe black. Saudi Arabia at the movies!!! Yay!

The story ran thus: Oil company workers and their families are having a softball game on their compound in Saudi Arabia. It was meant to be in Riyadh but looked awfully similar to where I grew up in the Eastern Province. Terrorists posing as security guards then drove into the compound and blew themselves up in the middle of the softball game. I found it pretty uncomfortable viewing. The rest of the film was about some American FBI investigators who went to Riyadh to try and find the man behind the attack and bring him to justice, in cooperation (supposedly) with the Saudi authorities.

Now, as a former expat in the Kingdom I can tell you, one of the top favourite western expat (and non-western expat too, I shouldn’t wonder) activities is laughing at the Saudis. Closely followed by, laughing at Americans (unless of course you are American). I left some time ago, but I still enjoy it! And this film certainly delivers - there were plenty of laughs to be had at the expense of the boorish, arrogant Americans and the bungling, idiot Saudis. It seems the Saudis had the idea that they were going to get the Americans to ‘help’ them because this would look good on paper, and but they had no intention of letting them do anything, not even handle evidence at the scene. Typical – a Saudi with power somewhere in an organisation makes a decision, then it sort of goes ahead, but warring factions above do their best to make sure it fails in a ridiculous and expensive manner. That’s the Saudi Arabia I know and love!

For their part, the FBI agents were extremely pissed off, and instead of taking a moment to work out the best way to tiptoe round the stew of egos and cultural sensitivities they had just stepped into, they threw tantrums and swore a lot. The Saudi colonel (who turned out to be one of the main characters) got upset a couple of times and ended up shouting over and over again, “Why you use these bad words?” What was standard macho posturing for the Americans was genuinely upsetting to the conservative Saudis. You’d have thought somebody could have briefed the idiots, but no, that’s Americans for you.

So, we have the Americans and Saudis at loggerheads with each other, until finally the Americans (though not the woman!) are invited to dinner with the fantastically indolent local prince, a character who was SO REALISTIC it was like watching a documentary for a moment. He decides to take their side, and lets the good guy Saudi Colonel take over the investigation, which ensures the Americans can now do what they need to.

Talking of realistic, the residents of the compound who’d survived the attack weren’t. They were portrayed almost as poor white trash, which is a little unlikely, and their houses looked tiny badly air conditioned. Believe me, the Americans in Saudi Arabia luxuriate in big houses, lushly carpeted, humming with air conditioning, and dripping with expensive furnishings, Middle Eastern art and the latest in top of the range entertainment systems. And as for the man whose wife was killed in the attack, he wouldn’t have been left alone in his company accommodation, free to shout abuse at passing Muslims. He would have been on the first flight out of the kingdom at Aramco’s (the oil company’s) expense, and given extended leave. The Saudis may be morons at times (many times) but if they really want something done, boy does it happen. The last thing the authorities would want in the country is an American mad with grief and fury. The place has got enough live wires on the loose as it is.

While I’m attacking the film on points of realism, I should also add, Saudi Arabia is nowhere near that dangerous as that on a day to day basis! I say this because people generally visualise me going shopping in a bullet proof jacket and dodging land mines. Now I won’t say I always felt safe there 100% of the time, but nothing in the movie ever happened to me. (With the exception of the car chase scene, for that is normal driving in Saudi Arabia.) Having said that, there was a terrorist attack on a compound near us, three or four years ago, and the Man reckons this movie was based on that event.

It was a compound I’d visited a few times with my boyfriend at the time, as they had impressive facilities that were the talk of the expat community. As I understand it, some terrorists dressed up as officials got onto the compound and went from house to house asking people whether or not they were Muslims, on the pretext of gathering data for their own protection. Later that day they returned, and went from house to house shooting people who’d registered as non-Muslim. The Man has friends who lived on the compound next door, and when they heard the shots and explosions they locked themselves in their laundry room. I can only imagine how terrified they must have been, not knowing what was going on. (Though it might have been worse if they had known).

The terrorists then left the compound, shot a westerner on the street, tied his body to the back of their vehicle and drove around the city streets with it dragging around behind them. I saw the man’s picture in the paper later and realised I vaguely recognised him. It turns out, I went to his house once for a party after a concert I’d played in. I hardly remember him, but it was a lovely villa.

Bad memories. Luckily for me, they are not my memories.

When the Americans were in the plane on the way over to Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of the film, one says to the other, “So what’s it like on the ground there?” The other thinks for a moment and replies, “It’s like Mars.” I think that description is pretty close to the mark, and the movie did a very good job of showing how bizarre the country actually is. But it also did a good job of showing the better side of the country, embodied in the form of the quietly talented Saudi Colonel who was able to take over the investigation and help the Americans. There are many passionate and intelligent people in Saudi Arabia, who are constantly in danger of being crushed by the system. I find myself incredibly impressed by their achievements, particularly some of the women, who are success in spite of all the odds, instead of being encouraged as we are in the West. The Colonel’s character was again a very believable one, albeit one in an extreme situation. He was a great guy, which of course means CAUTION, SPOILER AHEAD…that he was doomed for death right from the beginning.

Good old Saudi Arabia. I can never decide whether I love it fiercely, or despise it fiercely. Either way, it’s something fierce! I felt a bit emotional the film ended, having seen the familiar streets and faces once again. (I’m sure it wasn’t actually filmed in Saudi Arabia but in a nearby Gulf state, but it was still convincing). After it was over I told the Man we needed to go on holiday to Bahrain a.s.a.p!

Thursday 8 May 2008

Bookcrossing

Today I released my first two Bookcrossing books into the wild!

One day about a year ago, I was wandering around the Centrepoint building in Sydney, needing the toilet if I remember rightly, when the Man exclaimed, “Oh look, a book over there on that bench!” I tried to hurry him past, feeling embarrassed. I get embarrassed over stuff like that. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a knee-jerk reaction to his habit of picking up rubbish all over the place and bringing it home. But you can’t stop the Man on a mission, so I followed him to the bench. There was a book with a yellow post-it note on the front. It said ‘I am not lost! Please read me! See inside for details!’ Inside there was a sticker that said this was a ‘bookcrossing book’ that was travelling the world, and could the person who picked up the book log on to bookcrossing.com and register their find.

I was instantly completely charmed, because that is also the kind of person I am. It wasn’t my genre – murder mystery – but I was determined to read it anyway. I mean, isn’t that the cutest idea? I read the book and eventually re-released it.

A week ago I decided to register some of my own books to see where they’ll end up. I ordered some stickers from the website, generated some unique identification numbers and labelled up the books. And today my first two babies made their maiden voyage into the wild. Possibly the MacBogan Centre* wasn’t the best choice of venue, but it’s always possible that someone there can read!

I’m so excited to see if someone will pick them up and leave a message on Bookcrossing.com. That is exactly the kind of nerdy crap I adore!

*Macquarie Centre

Tuesday 6 May 2008

Fancy That

This headline in today's Sydney Morning Herald made me laugh: 'Cut Cannabis Use by Selling It At the Post Office'. Clearly I'm not the only one with a low opinion of the Post Office!

Friday 2 May 2008

The Wedding Bell Tolls

Today I received an e-mail from my parents to say that my cousin is getting married. My prettier, spoilt cousin, who never did quite as well as me in anything when we were children, yet somehow managed to go to Cambridge University, land herself a plum job in finance, and is now rich and successful. My cousin is also the first in our generation of the family to get married. I'm pretty sure it should have been me, as the oldest. Thank God I live in Australia and don’t have to go!

I haven’t been told anything about her fiancĂ©, but already I know he is tall, white, good looking in a bland, upper class way, mid to late 20s, athletic and highly-paid. Ahh, the bitterness! I am like a twisted old maid already! Maybe I should attend the wedding and give her an apple for a wedding gift, one part red, one part green.

Still, it could have been worse. When I saw the title of my dad’s e-mail, ‘A Wedding’, I instantly thought of my brother and Psycheau. The day they tie the knot will be...challenging.