Thursday 20 December 2007

Public Notice

I'm about to leave for England. The Stationery Cabinet is now closed for business. Apologies for any inconvenience.

Tuesday 18 December 2007

Blighter's Rock**

Now, I realize my blog hasn’t exactly been overflowing with quality material this past two weeks. This is because I’ve been busy at work, and anyway, all I can think about right now is my imminent trip to England for Christmas, and I don’t think anyone else is going to be as blown away by my shopping plans as I am, so it’s best not to write anything.

I hope to have way more to blog about once I’m on the road. Already, I’m researching synonyms for ‘freezing’ and ‘exhausted’ in preparation so I can maintain the rich literary style you’ve come to expect from me. According to The Blog Readability Test you need a high school education to understand this blog, and I’d hate to let standards slip. Wouldn’t want just any old man and his dog reading this.

So yes, Christmas lunch on Wednesday afternoon, then take-off on Thursday morning. I can’t wait!

**Can you figure out what I mean by this?

Tuesday 11 December 2007

Puss in Boot

Yesterday was my first ever visit to a vet. The cat had a cut paw, so we borrowed the neigbours’ (her real owners’) cat carrier and made an appointment. Or at least, we made an appointment after The Man made a big fuss about how we had to find a vet who voted Green because patronising a Liberal vet would be supporting someone who was against us, and despite it being first thing on Sunday morning he called some high ranking member of the Green party to ask them to recommend a vet. Apparently, shopping ethically is part of his new plan to revolutionise the social fabric of Australia. After I’d finished sighing, I asked him if that meant we could only go to cinemas, petrol stations, supermarkets, toll roads etc owned by Green or Labor voters, out of consistency. He seemed pretty excited by this idea.

So, once that production was over, the next hurdle was to actually find the cat. I found her sitting high on a wall at the end of our block. She meowed in recognition, but didn’t move. I trotted back home and came back with a bowl of her leftover canned salmon. I waved it up to the wall, going “oooh, smelly fish, lovely!”. She looked a lot more interested this time, standing up, stretching, wandering along the wall to follow me when I pretended to be going back home. But would the damn cat actually come down? It turned out she was toying with me. The Man turned up too, and there we both were, in front of passers by, going “Come on Kitty! Lovely smelly fish for you! Mmmmm! We wish we were eating smelly fish!” etc. She did everything – peering down, blinking alertly, lying down on her side and reaching out her paw – everything except come down off the wall. In the end The Man came back with the ladder and grabbed her.

I’ve never heard our docile kitty yowl like that before, but I think she suspected a visit to the vet was on the horizon, after the arrival of the cat carrier. This girl who happened to be passing actually looked terrified. I was quite terrified myself, as enraged kitty’s paws raked through my FIRST TIME ON Jigsaw top.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, kitty has three staples in her little paw and a big red bandage that looks like a boot – very cute. She also had a bottom temperature reading, to my horror. Call me naïve, but at first when the vet whipped out her thermometer I had this vague thought ‘How is she going to get that under kitty’s tongue?’. Now I know why we needed the ladder to get her down off the wall. I bet I was nearly as traumatized as she was.

So now she’s at home, recovering delicately, and shooting us mournful looks. The Man is going round pulling his hair out and complaining that they were too rough with his darling moggy. Honestly, men.

Saturday 8 December 2007

Yay for Christmas!

Huzzah for the Christmas season! Even when I’m not at boozy work lunches, my boss is and I can skip home early.

Leaving me free to prepare for Christmas. I’ve just finished all my cards, with labels all printed out by mail merge. Well, I am the queen of stationery!

I’m beginning to get a bit nervous about my trip to England. How can I say this…I’m a bit scared of my family, to be honest. They’re all a bit…strange and moody. The worst thing is my parents. They haven’t accepted The Man and my relationship, for reasons I might go into one day (though not now, as too much angst is Not Christmassy). So every time I visit them, I have to make sure his name doesn’t trip off my tongue accidentally, and in every story I tell, ‘we’ has to be replaced with ‘I’ so a family scene doesn’t ensue. My brother’s girlfriend doesn’t understand this and is all ‘talk it through with your parents, Sprite, you and your parents have to face your issues’.

But seriously, you don’t talk to my parents.

Basically the only safe topic these days with my mother is shopping, and since I plan to do plenty of that, we should be ok. I’m so organised, I’ve already contacted the freight companies to arrange shipping back to Australia for my excess baggage. Well – I have been saving up for the big trip, you know!

So yes, looking forward to it…but I’m also looking forward to coming back!

Wednesday 5 December 2007

I Lost My Lunch!

I prepared today’s lunch last night whilst watching television. It took me a long time, but it was worth it in the end because it all looked so delicious.

I made a box of chopped fruit, as always. Then I made up a box of crispy chopped salad, with herbs and olive oil. Yum. Then I took a little plastic container with two sections. In one section I put rice; then I shelled some prawns and put the prawns in the other half of the box, with a slice of lemon. I threw a couple of ‘fun’ sized Mars bars into the bag as a final touch.

Then this morning I left it all on the bus.

Tuesday 4 December 2007

A Crackin' Good Time!

I was happily making myself scarce from work on Friday afternoon when a colleague appeared at my elbow and asked me if I had anything planned for the weekend – as colleagues do.

“Well actually, I do” I trilled. “I’m going to the ballet to see ‘The Nutcracker’!”

“Oh really? That’s wonderful!” he cried. I was a bit taken aback by his enthusiasm, but pleased.

“Yes, and we were really lucky to get tickets as it was all last minute, and they were supposed to have sold out,” I continued. “I’ve never seen the Nutcracker before, so I’m quite excited.”

“So, how long are you going for?” he asked, eagerly.

“Err, what do you mean?”

“How long will you be in Bali?”

So that explained the enthusiastic interest – though you have to wonder why he never asked me about this mystical nutcracker, that had enticed me all the way to Bali to see it. Some kind of new religion, perhaps?

So anyway, I realize the ballet isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But on with the review:

The company was the Australian Ballet, dancing at the Opera Theatre, in the Opera House. How they managed on the shoe box-sized stage I can’t imagine, though the fact that there were never more than about ten people on stage at any one time must have helped! There were some great touches; I almost wished I was a child again. Remote controlled mice running across the stage made everyone laugh, and when the tree grew and dancing mice jumped out of the fireplace…I came over all six years old! The scenery really did make the stage look lovely.

The principals danced well, though I’m not so sure whether I liked the corps de ballet. They were technically competent, but seemed to lack artistry – for example, those beautiful head lines that make a dancer so beautiful you want to be her, not just think “well, that was clever.” There’s a good reason I go to ballet three times a week at risk of my right hip falling off. Ballet should look so good you just have to do it yourself, and I don’t think those girls had that. But maybe I’m being ignorant and too harsh. After all, there’s a reason some dancers stay in the corps and others are promoted to soloist – that extra something is a dancer’s ticket out of the corps de ballet.

When the interval came round I decided to go to the toilet – bad idea. I could see a crowd rushing to the ladies’ and I couldn’t rush to get near the front of the queue because this annoying little girlie was skipping slowly down the steps in front of me, holding on to her mother’s hand. Damn little girls! I was tempted to plough her down, but you’ll be pleased to hear I didn’t. So I ended up queuing for more than half the interval, just for the sake of a quick toilet visit.

On the way out of the toilets I saw a woman who looked like Nicole Kidman, still in the queue. I didn’t think twice about it as a moment later, I found the Man and he was waiting for me with a glass of gorgeous red wine, bless him! But then, just as I was trying to down my red wine as fast as possible without passing out from alcohol shock (the warning bell had sounded), the Nicole Kidman look-alike reappeared from the ladies’, and it actually was her. A woman asked her for her autograph as she was climbing back up the steps to re-enter the theatre.

I couldn’t tell you very much about her because I studiously looked away, as I thought it was pretty mean to stare. And frankly, a bit unfair to ask her for her autograph when she was trying to enjoy an afternoon out with her son. There was hardly anyone around at that point as most people had gone back in for the second act, so it would have been pretty obvious if I had stared. (The Man did, as he is unworried by the finer niceties of etiquette. And later he started babbling about how he really quite likes Nicole Kidman, even though I know she annoys him!) I did however nearly bump into her in my haste to put my empty glass down and get back to my seat!

The other celebrity sighting was David MacAllister, if he counts. He’s the Artistic Director of the Australian Ballet, and he was in the audience. “These are good seats, you know” The Man said, smugly. “What do you expect? We’re mixing with the best here.” I suggested that Daniel Craig might be our next sighting. In his swimmers. Mmmmm. It would almost be worth turning 30 for that. (Did I mention, the ballet trip was the last of my birthday celebration events).

So, Advent is upon us, and my trip to England for Christmas suddenly draws near. This month is going to be hectic.